Scary Fast Bingo
On Halloween eve, in the pale, eerie light, new Apple products shine, a wicked delight.
Apple is not expected to release any new Macs this calendar year... wait... change course... they are, and they're even hosting a bizarrely timed 17:00 PST event on Monday, October 30, for the occasion. I figured Apple had capped the year off with that new budget Apple Pencil they posted about, but I was wrong. One last treat before the end of 2023: it's time for the Scary Fast Apple Event, which means it's also time for a round of Apple Event Bingo!
Note: Picks were made and codified on October 25, so if things change by then, my picks could look uncannily brilliant or spectacularly foolish. See everyone online on the 30th!
The Bingo Board is available to download as a PNG or PDF, and I’ve added a more printer-friendly PDF so you don’t end up using all your toner printing this card.
Scary Fast Bingo Board
PNG | PDF | Toner-Friendly PDF
Picks Explained
Craig Federighi Appears in Costume
The night before Halloween & I'm betting we see Craig having another memeable moment in a costume of some kind.
M3 MacBook Pros Announced
The rumours are swirling that this event will be Mac-focused (the Finder animation in the unveil was a nice nod to that). But somewhat surprising is that not only will the M3 be announced, but also its sibling chips, the M3 Pro & M3 Max, in updated versions of the 14 and 16-inch MacBook Pro.
Runtime: <55 Minutes
Apple's M1 announcement video in November 2020, where it unveiled the M1 MacBook Pro, MacBook Air, and Mac mini, ran for 49 minutes. Apple's Unleashed event in 2021 (M1 MacBook Pros) ran for 50:18. Mac Events have a history of being short and sweet, and I'm betting this surprise event will follow in tow and remain under an hour.
iMac is Updated to M3
The M1 iMac is one of the oldest M-based Apple Silicon products in Apple's lineup, launching in the Spring of 2021. It's due for an update.
iMac Gets an M3 Pro Config
There are scattered rumours that Apple may eventually release an 'iMac Pro' in the future, but I would like to see Apple do what they did with the Mac mini and share a pricier config featuring the M3 Pro as an option. It may not come in all the gorgeous colours because, as we've learned from Apple, colour in Pro products is verboten.
Magic Accessories updated to USB-C
Suppose we are going to see new iMacs released at this October event. In that case, it'll likely be the perfect opportunity for Apple to release updated Magic Accessories featuring USB-C connectivity. That should include the keyboards, trackpads, and the highly meme'd Magic Mouse.
Visit Apple's Chip Lab
New Mac Chip deserves the pomp and circumstance of being detailed deep down in the bowels of Apple Parks chip lab. Just feels right.
A Secret Location is Accessed via Whimsical Transition
In addition to the expected drone footage around Apple Park, at some point, we'll transition from one place to the next via some fancy corridor, portal, or secret underground tunnel accessed via the fountain inside the courtyard of Apple Park.
M3 is a 3nm Chip
By all accounts, the next Mac processor will likely be based on the 3NM architecture. I am excited about what this chip offers in terms of performance and potential battery life gains across the Mac lineup.
Unified Memory is increased to 128GB on M3 Max
When Apple introduced the M2, it increased the maximum amount of unified memory by 50%, from 64 to 96GB. Keeping with the trend, I wonder if we'll see a similar increase for the M3 Max, with the top memory now maxing out at 128GB for that chip.
M2 MacBook Pro is updated with M3
I would like to see the 13-inch MacBook Pro updated to the design language of its 14- and 16-inch brethren, but I am not holding my breath. Instead, I imagine we'll see something similar to what Apple did in the transition from M1 to M2: toss in a new chip and call it a day. At least that means another year of updates for Touch Bar users?
No New iPads Announced
Given the hints that this is a Mac-centric event, I don't think we'll see Apple announce any new iPads. I'd love to see a minor spec update to the mini myself (A17 or A16), but that may need to wait till another day.
A Minimum of 5 Graphs are Presented
Apple loves itself a good performance per watt graph and detailing how its laptops compare to the previous chip and other PCs on the market. I'm predicting at least five graphs (bar/line/scatterplot) to be featured during the event.
We See a Battery Life Improvement
With Apple moving to a smaller nanometer processor with M3, I hope we see some slight battery improvements across their portables. The current 13, 14, and 16-inch MacBook Pros offer up to 20, 18, and 22 hours, respectively, and I'd love to see each of those get an extra hour or two tacked on by going to M3.
Apple Highlights Gaming Performance
With the push Apple has been making at WWDC and during the iPhone event to highlight gaming performance and some blockbuster titles coming to the Mac, this is another excellent opportunity to highlight the Mac's gaming prowess. I'm not expecting to see a full demo, but a nod to at least 1-2 AAA titles and how they perform on these new machines feels fitting.
An Apple Display is Updated
It's a dark horse pick, but one of Apple's displays is getting a little long in the tooth. The Studio Display was released in 2022, but the Pro XDR Display was last updated in 2019. I figure we see some update to one or both of these displays.
A New Accessory for the Mac is Announced
Another dark horse candidate on this Bingo board. This pick is correct if Apple unveils a new accessory (sans updated USB-C Magic accessories). This pick is right if we see a new keyboard design, a new type of laptop case, or even a never-before-seen dongle.
Drone Footage of Apple Park at Night
Given the event's peculiar 17:00 PST start time, I expect we will see some Apple Park drone footage shown during sunset/nighttime to match the occasion.
iMac Colours Remain the Same
Apple's 2021 M1 iMac came in six stunning colours (and Silver): Blue, Green, Pink, Orange, and Purple. The lineup continues to look great, and I don't see Apple needing to upgrade the colours across all its models and colour-matched accessories.
Preorders Open Following the Event
The online store goes down a few hours before the event, and some of whatever Apple announces during the keynote becomes available directly following the conclusion of the event.
Unveil Features a Fancy-Schmancy Mechanical Animation.
Apple has regularly unveiled new Macs with a detailed deconstructed video of their Mac being assembled before it's announced. I would expect another one of those gorgeous eye-candy visuals to also occur at this event.
Reference to Apple having "The Best Notebooks"
During the Keynote, Apple will drop the line referencing how "these Macs are the best/most powerful Macs/Laptops we've ever made." Which sounds nice, but is ultimately a little vapid. It's like me saying, "This is the oldest I've ever been." True, but not that surprising.
At least 5 Stock Images of iMacs in Homes and Hotels
Predicting that ahead of the iMac being updated, we see an Apple executive share a few stock photos telling the story of where and how the iMac has been adopted over the past two years. Give me some reception desks, kitchen, home offices, and dorm room desktop stock images.
John Ternus wears Black
Not Navy, not grey, not even charcoal. John Ternus wears something black during the event.
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