The 2020 Basic Apple Dundie Awards
Fans of The Office will appreciate the annual end-of-year Dundies chaired by Dunder Mifflin's Scranton branch manager Michael Scott to pay tribute to his staff. Featuring categories including the "Diabetes Award" (won by Stanley), the "Doobie Doobie Pothead Stoner of the Year Award" (won by Andy), the "Extreme Repulsiveness Award" (won by none other than Toby), and the "Kind of A Bitch Award" (won by Angela); the Dundies award the more esoteric qualities that defined a year. It's my privilege to present the winners of the 2020 Basic Apple Dundie Awards.
Meh of the Year: 5G
No matter how many times you say it, 5G is just alright.
All eyes were on Apple to release 5G phones this year. And 5G phones they delivered. While the Ultra-wideband (UWB) speeds are undisputedly impressive, the technology remains exclusive to iPhones sold in the US. Even then, UWB is a voracious battery hog that can only be used in very, very specific locations. As for the rest of the world, all we got was "regular 5G", and while speeds can range from being 2-5x faster than LTE, LTE has yet to feel slow for how I use my phone's cellular data. Because the harsh data caps in Canada virtually prohibit downloading large files on-the-go, when the speed benefits would be most appreciated, 5G remains more theoretically convenient than practical. For now, 5G is little more than a feature to satisfy investors and keep iPhones feature competitive, but it's not yet ready for prime time. Come back in 2-3 years.
Runners Up:
The 2020 iPad Pro with A12Z & LiDAR
The Apple Watch Series 6
The “Binned There, Done That” Award: iPad Pro's A12Z
Sure seven is better than eight, but just barely.
Before March 18, 2020, the number of people who knew about and discussed processor binning was a small and niched minority. But following the release of the 2020 iPad Pro, which featured a "better binned" A12X with an additional GPU core active (eight versus the 2018 iPad Pro's 7-core GPU), it suddenly felt like the phrase "binning" was being flexed in nearly every podcast, review, and video I came across. Be honest, had you ever used the term before it exploded in popularity in the early spring? I'll be the first to admit that even I am guilty of using the phrase in some previous entries purely because the zeitgeist had swept me up.
Runner up:
The M1 MacBook Air with 7-core GPU
The #TRIGGERED Award: Literally any Apple Accessory
If the internet didn’t have Apple accessories to complain about, I’m pretty certain it would collapse upon itself.
From the $699 MacPro wheels, to the debate about the MagSafe Wallet, to the functionality (or lack thereof) of iPhone 12 Leather Sleeve, the goofy MagSafe ring around the iPhone 12 Clear Case, the $129 MagSafe Duo, or the look and practicality of the Smart Case for the AirPods Max, nearly every accessory this year was fuel for ire, scorn, criticism, and fury.
There wasn't an accessory that Apple released this year that didn't send the Apple community into a fervour, and anyone who dared hold an 'it's not so bad' position risked being brow-beaten for their sympathetic views.
The "There was an Attempt" Award: MagSafe Duo
Robert H. Schuller once famously wrote that “I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed.” It’s worth noting that was before the MagSafe Duo debuted.
It's hard to believe that Airpower rumours have been around since 2017 and that it took Apple two years before they publicly announced that they had officially shelved the project.
But after the death of AirPower came rumours of a less ambitious AirPower product in the works, and in October, that product was publicly announced as the MagSafe Duo. Prohibitively expensive, derided for its lack of bundled charger, and criticized for its overall durability. Worse, not all chargers (i.e., Apple's 29W USB-C adapter) could work with the new MagSafe accessory.
Apple made lofty promises on this one, and they ultimately underdelivered and drastically overcharged. But at least there was an attempt. Take your award and sit down, MagSafe Duo; you really are the 2020 of chargers!
The "Couldn't've Launched at a Worse Time" Award: Solo Loops
Apple was thrown for a bit of a loop (sorry…) releasing such highly specific bands amid a pandemic.
Apple's retail experience has always benefitted from letting customers handle and experience products first hand. And Apple's Watch Studio services offered close-contact with accessories and staff to help guide you through picking out your perfect-fitting Apple Watch and band combo.
But touching stuff and close contact instantly become a faux pas in the era of COVID-19. So when Apple released a set of silicone and braided nylon Solo Loops that came in one of a dozen precise fits this Fall, it was bound to happen that a portion of folks would end up with an ill-fitting product. Add to the mix the limited access to retail stores to exchange or find the proper fitting band, and understandably many users were upset. Apple eventually did some repair work by reversing their policy requiring watches purchased with Solo Loops to be returned when exchanging just the bands and fine-tuned their instructions about finding the perfect fitting band. Still, by that point, the damage had been done.
The Blue Balls award: AirTags
When, if, or whether we’ll ever see AirTags continues to remain a mystery.
The rumours regarding AirTags have been floating around publicly since at least late 2019 and iOS 13.2, and this year it seemed like just about every event was ripe for their debut. They've been rumoured to launch anytime in the first half of 2020, but event after event would pass with no sign that these were any closer to fruition. Last I heard, they've been delayed until March of 2021. For being just around the corner but never actually coming, the AirTags proudly earn the Blue Balls award for 2020..
Runner up:
An updated AppleTV
The “Oldie but a Goodie” Award: iPad 10.2"
Focusing on affordability vs. flash, the 10.2” is a great tablet option for a sizeable number of folks.
Yup, the screen is outdated. Yup, the design is ancient. Yup, the processor is dated. The iPad 10.2" may seem out of place, but at $329 (but routinely selling for at least $50 off), it's one of the best Apple deals going. While not the flashiest, the addition of an A12 processor made the iPad a capable tablet for years to come and an excellent option for households scrambling to secure additional tech to support themselves or their children with remote work & school. It's a product of compromises, but it makes smart cuts in areas that still make it a compelling tablet for many people, focused on offering a lower price alongside performance that'll last for years to come. Oh, and it comes with a charger!
Runner up:
The iPhone SE (2nd Generation) with A13 starting at $399
The “True Blue” Award: Pacific Blue iPhone 12 Pro
The finest colour Apple has released to date. End of discussion.
There were so many fabulous blue Apple products and accessories released this year. Naming just a few, Apple released many stunning accessory tones, including Baltic Blue, Surf Blue, Northern Blue, and on and on. Apple also released a range of gorgeous new blue hardware products, from the Sky Blue iPad Air & AirPods Max, to the Blue Apple Watch & iPhone 12. But one product stood out from the rest: the Pacific Blue iPhone 12 Pro. I've historically always gravitated to buying any Apple hardware in silver, but the Pacific Blue iPhone this year was just too beautiful to pass up. The finest colour Apple has released to date. End of discussion.
Runner ups:
Sky Blue AirPods Max
Any Baltic Blue leather accessory
